Its time for the final show down at the RMSW! This is the last chance to air it all out and show the best what you got. I know I usually whip up something witty tied into the standing and the league for the official race threads. I thought I would do something a bit different this time. How about a short story about a past experience:
One man’s story of triumph and fear:
There is nothing more that makes me want to retire my Man Card more than battling a roach. Who would think something so small and seemingly harmless could strike such fear into a grown man. Put me face to face with snakes, scorpions, wild tigers, vampires even Joan Rivers without makeup and I can handle it!
It has been quite a while since I've battled my greatest adversary. I’ve been running mad for about 3 weeks and I was looking forward to a peaceful Labor Day. I was enjoying Pinewood Derby Online this morning when my wife sent out the call "Honey there is a roach in here and it's big". I immediately cringed with the anticipation of being man handled by an insect version of Mike Tyson.
The battle field was a traditional spot that we have met many times before, the bathroom. My greatest adversary had chosen a crafty position to start the dance of death, positioned on the ceiling in strike position. Absolutely the worst case scenario for battling a roach, the possibility of human/insect contact is increased tremendously with a flying dismount.
I did what every great military tactician has done before me, I created a battle plan. I first put my sons on recon, “Do not let the roach out of your site”. I then armed myself with all the weapons needed for a possible ceiling dismount. A nerf ball, hand broom and a can of glorious nerve gas “roach spray”. Upon re-entering the battlefield I could tell my adversary was wise to my plan for the deep sleep. I first had to coax the puppeteer of fear down to the floor to level the playing field. Never let your adversary have the high ground, I leaned that from “Star Wars Revenge of the Sith”. I was not going to let him go Obi-Wan on my butt during this battle. The first attempt with the Nerf ball was meet with a ruffle of the wings just to raise my anxiety level, “The force is strong in this one”. Upon my second attempt the dismount was reminiscent of the Dark Night descending to the streets of Gotham in order to strike fear to all who oppose him. The ceiling dismount sent me into ready position, hiding behind the door until the dismount was complete. Upon hearing the landing I peaked in and saw a fully matured Blattaria scramble behind the toilet.
At this point, close contact is almost inevitable. He was luring me in to a tight space to increase his odds for survival, “This bastard must have seen 300, he is going to pull a Leanitus on my ass”. I immediatly decided to lay on an all out assault and use my superior weaponry to my advantage. I squatted down and began to spray a thick coating of roach napalm around the toilet. Within a few seconds my adversary immerged in full gallop, wings flapping as though the napalm was a mere coating of fresh spring water. I was taken back, my fog of death clearly stated “kills bugs fast”. This Blattaria must have evolved…a super insect of sorts. I had no choice but to retreat, I started river dancing out of the battlefield like an energized Michael Flatley. During the retreat I was left pinned against the wall as my adversary made a scramble to the door. Armed with a hand broom and fear I began my second offensive, manic swings. By this time the sweet nectar that is roach spray started to do its work. Feeling a turn in my favor my mantic swings became focused and the battle was soon over. As I quickly disposed of my adversary with a quick flush of the toilet, another battle had been won but the war continues on!
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I hope you enjoyed the story.....maybe it will give you the courage to send in a car if you haven't this season. Who knows you could be the next MOTM!
Please chime in to this thread and tell us how much you enjoyed racing this season and lay down a little smack talk for the MOTM race!
One man’s story of triumph and fear:
There is nothing more that makes me want to retire my Man Card more than battling a roach. Who would think something so small and seemingly harmless could strike such fear into a grown man. Put me face to face with snakes, scorpions, wild tigers, vampires even Joan Rivers without makeup and I can handle it!
It has been quite a while since I've battled my greatest adversary. I’ve been running mad for about 3 weeks and I was looking forward to a peaceful Labor Day. I was enjoying Pinewood Derby Online this morning when my wife sent out the call "Honey there is a roach in here and it's big". I immediately cringed with the anticipation of being man handled by an insect version of Mike Tyson.
The battle field was a traditional spot that we have met many times before, the bathroom. My greatest adversary had chosen a crafty position to start the dance of death, positioned on the ceiling in strike position. Absolutely the worst case scenario for battling a roach, the possibility of human/insect contact is increased tremendously with a flying dismount.
I did what every great military tactician has done before me, I created a battle plan. I first put my sons on recon, “Do not let the roach out of your site”. I then armed myself with all the weapons needed for a possible ceiling dismount. A nerf ball, hand broom and a can of glorious nerve gas “roach spray”. Upon re-entering the battlefield I could tell my adversary was wise to my plan for the deep sleep. I first had to coax the puppeteer of fear down to the floor to level the playing field. Never let your adversary have the high ground, I leaned that from “Star Wars Revenge of the Sith”. I was not going to let him go Obi-Wan on my butt during this battle. The first attempt with the Nerf ball was meet with a ruffle of the wings just to raise my anxiety level, “The force is strong in this one”. Upon my second attempt the dismount was reminiscent of the Dark Night descending to the streets of Gotham in order to strike fear to all who oppose him. The ceiling dismount sent me into ready position, hiding behind the door until the dismount was complete. Upon hearing the landing I peaked in and saw a fully matured Blattaria scramble behind the toilet.
At this point, close contact is almost inevitable. He was luring me in to a tight space to increase his odds for survival, “This bastard must have seen 300, he is going to pull a Leanitus on my ass”. I immediatly decided to lay on an all out assault and use my superior weaponry to my advantage. I squatted down and began to spray a thick coating of roach napalm around the toilet. Within a few seconds my adversary immerged in full gallop, wings flapping as though the napalm was a mere coating of fresh spring water. I was taken back, my fog of death clearly stated “kills bugs fast”. This Blattaria must have evolved…a super insect of sorts. I had no choice but to retreat, I started river dancing out of the battlefield like an energized Michael Flatley. During the retreat I was left pinned against the wall as my adversary made a scramble to the door. Armed with a hand broom and fear I began my second offensive, manic swings. By this time the sweet nectar that is roach spray started to do its work. Feeling a turn in my favor my mantic swings became focused and the battle was soon over. As I quickly disposed of my adversary with a quick flush of the toilet, another battle had been won but the war continues on!
----------
I hope you enjoyed the story.....maybe it will give you the courage to send in a car if you haven't this season. Who knows you could be the next MOTM!
Please chime in to this thread and tell us how much you enjoyed racing this season and lay down a little smack talk for the MOTM race!
